Katt Williams Quotes

Stop waiting on a nigga to verify wether you the shit or not. Bitch if you the shit, You the Motherfucking Shit!

Dont give me that shit that weeds a drug. It aint no motherfuckin drug. Ive done the research. Its just a plant. It just grows like that. And if you just happen to set it on fire there are some effects.

Ain’t nothin worse then a smart dumb nigga.

Your baby is supposed to like Skittles, you ignorant bitch!

Aspirin is perfectly legal, but if you take 13 of them motherf***ers, it’ll be your last headache.

I think pimp, therefore I am.

If a mutha fucka call you a crackhead for 20 years, Bitch you are smoking crack! Whitney done smoked her kneecaps off, and we still talking about “Uh UH!”

As a nigga, we are not prepared to turn down a free god damn drink. We don’t give a fuck what it is like ‘this is unleaded!? that’s spicy than a mothafucka, nigga I like that!

I have a disease, I’m alergic to stupid shit. now some of y’all might have that same disease. But if you have the disease, you know for a fact, that it does not start when you’re an adult; It starts when you’re a child. I remember as a child being allergic to stupid Shit.

My name is “A Pimp named? Slickback” Wait…….A Pimp ??? …..Named Slickback. Yes, please say the whole thing if you would. Yes, that includs the “A Pimp Named” part. Yes Tom, everytime.

First of all white people, please stop putting those lil blue leashes on your children, PLEASE STOP DOIN THAT! that is only entertainment for niggas. thats all that is! we be excited then a motha fucka ‘just look at him look at hi-’ that’s why white kids grow up and kill everybody in the god damn school cuz you done treat him like a German Shepperd ever since they was three!

Hello?… No I’m sorry no Shaquita here. Well what number did you dial?.. No it’s a nine not a seven.. Well try it if it doest work call me back we’ll figure this thing out.
Ain’t noone ever overdosed on weed. You might think that nigga is dead, but he ain’t dead. He’s gonna wake up in half an hour, and eat eve-erything.

Make sure you don’t smoke weed with dumb niggas because weed will make you smart. Aint nothin worse than a smart dumb nigga.

Buy a condom, ribbed for her pleasure. Turn it inside out, now it’s ribbed for your pleasure.

A woman gets stretch marks from one of two things. Either she was big and got small or she was small and got big.

You can’t even go to Heaven if you get killed by Spinach, you can’t even go. You don’t even know what to tell Jesus.

You Just ‘You know what Jesus, I did have a salad, I really Did I– I Didn’t know what I was thinking about.

You can be gangsta in good weather, These niggas were Gangsta in 99 Feet of mothafuckin’ water. Nigga how is you swimming and keeping your Pistol out the water at the same time!?!

I know 50 done made it cool to get shot, ain’t nothing cool about gettin’ shot. I’ve been shot before, ain’t shit cool about it. When I got shot, ain’t no Music play, ain’t no Bitches come out, Nothin’!

He comes back with the script, and it’s racist like a 1940′s Newspaper.

And the last place you wanna be, In a motherfuckin’ foot race, is behind the mothafucka with no goddamn foots.

2+2=4. Damn straight. All the time, nigga all the time. Then one day this bitch just flipped the script. 3x+y=what? This bitch is still teaching. Did you know that some of them was letters?!!?

You’re angry at breakfast nigga? you gangbangin’ on bacon!?

Just saying ladies, stop worrying about shit that don’t matter. some of you that had some babies, now you got some stretch marks, walking around the house bitter. Blaming the baby, showing the baby your highschool picture, talking about ‘LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO ME!

Hello niggas, Hello bitches! Ladies I hope you don’t mind me calling you bitches cuz I don’t know you all by name.

Some of yall ladies is looking for an 100% good nigga, and I had a meeting with all these niggas in attendance tonight and established that there is no such a nigga. So stop looking for him. Some of yall had a 98% nigga and yall got rid of him for 2% now you siting next to a 71% nigga hoping he upgrade.

Weed was put on ths earth for niggers on the struggle & its got a chemical called fuck it.

White people, you did not get a receipt for niggas, you can not return us!

If your pussy was so good, you would drive a better car.

America is a bunch o’ bullies. tell me what the Iraq uniform is like. Don’t worry, I’ll wait.

Sit back there and say my hair ain’t luxurious, when you know it is, bitch!

How do you get a job and fuck up everything! everything? Everything!

But this Mother fucker here Nigga, This shit right here nigga; This is a love seat Nigga! I can’t even sit on this if I ain’t in love Nigga! What Kind of shit is that!

Most people think white people can’t dance. Truth is, white people be too fucked up to dance.

Just hit the blunt one time and see if it don’t change your perception on whats important in your life.

If you ain’t got no job and you ain’t smokin no weed, I dont know what the fuck you are doing with yo life

Bitch aint nobody hating on you, we all know you aint got shit!

My legs tired, ain’t your legs tired!? His legs ain’t Tired! He Just… Tinktinktinktinktinktink,

TinktinkTinktinkTinktink!! Just paperclips and Sparks everywhere!

Gas is so mother’fuckin high. Hot Damn gas. Shit!! You are not supposed to be at the gas station making life decisions. You just at the pump, “Did I eat today?” “I can get no half a tank, I’ve got 3 cigarettes.” 

Girls be so quick to upload half naked pictures, Bitch upload a diploma!

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